LegalWarfare - Trial by Firepower!

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[02 May 06] Aegis's Review of A Sound of Thunder [0/5]

woooooooooow.. It's been years since I've seen a truly shit sci-fi movie (the new star trek's dont count). A Sound of Thunder was a mind-numbing waste of 103 minutes of my life, time that could've been better spent probing the intricacies of chlorophyl utilising bio-matter.

Lets start with the whole premise: A company (based in New York naturally - everything bad must happen there [sure, i'm guilty of this]) develops time travel, and the US Government doesnt sieze control, instead the govt sets up a whole new department to supervise the safety protocols in place while the technology is used as a time-travelling safari enablement device. Woot! Now, so that they aren't hurting the timeline by going back to the cretaceous era and shooting king-dick dinos (it's that psycho T-Rex wannabe with the big red bone-comb from that CG disney dinosaur flick), they set up their wormholes to pop out 5 mins before a major volcano goes nuts and obliterates the region, thus, anything there will die anyway so it doesnt matter if they get shot instead.

Okay, with me so far? Killing things is Okay if a volcano is going to go off and anihilate. And yet, here's where the whole plot comes crumbling down. Someone steps on a butterfly. Ignore the fact it was going to be crispy fried in 5 minutes, because if you dont the story doesnt work.

So, they kill the big dino, after the obligatory equipment failure that would've been spotted prior to leaving their HQ if they had ANY kind of safety protocols in place, since someone spilt acid or somesuch on the main gun. They go back to the future, and nothing's changed. No. The butterfly killing comes into effect in waves WTF? Big visible Time Tsunamis smash across the city, gradually changing history, until the point when humans dont exist.. yet our infrastructure does, albeit covered in trees and crap.

Anyway, obligatory happy ending, everyone dies but comes back to life yadda yadda yadda. All of this to the tune of horrible CG work. It was like they had *just* discovered hypervoxels! Come on! I've seen better CG work done in Bryce3D than this movie managed, I think you have to REMOVE components from Maya, 3dStudio Max, and SoftImage to make CG that bad!

Overall, I can't bring myself to rate this movie, no number in the universe deserves the fate of being related to it, so ignore the 0 rating and think of it as infinite nothing, because that is the entertainment potential this film contains.

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-- science fiction, games, movies and the like are referenced in this comic Legalwarfare - Trial by Firepower. The year is 2346. 290 years since the eruption of the super volcano Yellowstone - the world has changed. The web comic or webcomic, however you prefer! sorry if you have a non-frames based browser and are reading this dross! Welcome to the world of legal warfare, where lawyers battle it out the way God intended: blood sports. <h3>Story Background</h3> In the year 2056, the super volcano yellowstone erupted. Scientists had been expecting it for many years, their forecasts of the violence to come paled in comparison to the actuality. The continental United States ceased to exist overnight. The fallout from the volcano shrouded the country and much of its neighbours in choking ash and toxic gas. Billions died as the deadly cloud smothered the planet, blocking out the sun and threatening all life on Earth.   A year passed, and the human populace watched its hopes dwindle to nothing as the ash suspended in the atmosphere continued to curtail all non-hydroponic attempts at agriculture. Animal species disappeared into extinction at an ever increasing pace.   As the last camel inhaled it's final, abrasive breath, the prayed for eleventh-hour reprieve arrived. A British owned, Southern Asia startup hit the news in a big way. The little corporation, Azimuth Vulcanix Pty Ltd, had completed final testing on a prototype device they had been developing for half a decade. This device had been designed to assist in evacuation of towns that existed close to active volcanoes by removing ash and toxic fumes from the immediate area, staving off the deadly threat of asphyxiation and worse.   Few believed the device would work. It was installed on a mountaintop in Papua New Guinea - the remote location chosen due to the untested nature of the device's output. Once activated, the unit fired an intense beam of energy into the sky. The world watched on what was left of the news media, as the device, the size of a small family car, energised the particles of ash in the atmosphere, causing them to clump together and rain down upon the surface - a black hail to greet the dawning of a new era in human existence.   The speed the device operated at was unbelievable. Within an hour it had cleared the sky of ash out to a distance of twelve kilometres. For the first time in a year, the engineers responsible and their accompanying journalists, saw direct sunlight.   Azimuth's phone did not stop ringing for six months. When the orders did begin to wane, it didn't matter to their bottom line. The canny CEO of the time had seen the longevity of their product as short-lived, and had adjusted the price of each unit accordingly. Needless to say they made an enormous fortune during that period. In that time they began acquiring businesses whose stock had plummeted during the Dark Age as it was being called. The diversification of Azimuth was as astonishing as their device, they branched into everything they could lay their hands on - media companies, construction firms, high-tech corporations, software giants, and more. By the time people realised what was happening, it was too late. Azimuth was effectively the world government.   During the Dark Age, much of the surviving populace had drifted away from the remaining governments, choosing to see to their own food needs rather than supporting politicians' waistlines. And this was where Azimuth made its second fortune. One of the corporate entities they had aquired was a gene bank containing many of the species, both plant and animal, lost in the recent events.   Time passed into years, years into decades. Azimuth was a behemoth, slow and ponderous, becoming much like the governments it had replaced. Smaller corporations were beginning to grow again, and slowly, the ailing economies of the world began to reinvigorate again. Azimuth saw this, they also saw what was coming. Already the lawsuits between these smaller companies were getting out of hand, the fleeting economic growth flitting away into the ether from whence it came. Something had to be done. The increasing number of large scale suits was bogging down the legal system. So much money was being thrown into the legal arena that nothing was able to be resolved. Innovation was completely stifled.   Azimuth stepped up to the plate once again. This time, there was public outcry at their proposition. But it didn't last long as people began to discover just who controlled their police forces and military units. It was New Year's Eve, 2099 that Azimuth put its plan into action: Legal Warfare: Trial by Firepower. Any court case involving a corporation with an annual turnover of more than one billion euros, would be fought in one of twelve arenas dotted throughout what was once the United States, that country being devoid of a human population since the Dark Age - the survivors having fled to Europe, Asia and Oceania.   The two parties would supply lawyers, usually four each, which would be dropped into the designated zone, whereupon they would wage battle. To the victor go the spoils. The lawyers, of course, were paramilitary types initially, but it didn't take long before genetic engineering took a hold, and soon, the lawyers were hardly human at all - boosted strength, agility, reaction times - coupled with advanced armour and weapons led to fierce battles, but the cases were still resolved quickly. The only limitations placed on the combat were that of no outside interference, and no energy fields. To police this, Judges were developed - huge automated weapons platforms that dealt swift, harsh justice to any team that went against this edict. Of course, humans always look for the easiest route, so sometimes, the Judges weren't quite the deterrent they should've been. comic,web comic,trial,firepower,art,desktop,dropship,legalwarfare,warfare,legal,lawyer,books,DVDs,dvd,book,movie,amazon -- science fiction, games, movies and the like are referenced in this comic